How far do you think you will get into this before it all turns out to be for naught? How deep into this thinking until it turns out to be pointless? Some good things may come of it. It’s an instigating moment. It will stir up other sediment, other things that needed to be dealt with will have to be dealt with. You cannot go on as you are forever. Things change, everything changes. You move past it and you keep going. Even though you really don’t want to anymore.
It is true that I don’t want to. There’s nothing further out there that I can do or hold onto. There’s nothing really more that I want from staying here. There’s no consequence to leaving. I’m only trapped insofar as I care what other people think.
I have to think about all the rest of it at some point. There’s too much built up and I have to tell people what I’m actually thinking.