I never figured out how to recover on purpose. I can always do it accidentally, when I let go. Maybe I never figured out how to let go on purpose. It’s probably a lot easier than I think. Why would taking it easy be hard? You believe the tension and anxiety are protecting you from something, but they’re not. They’re magnets to bad experiences. Release the tension and the good flows in.
You can tell yourself, “stop anticipating pain” — but that isn’t actionable. Avoidance is not a good instruction. The instruction is to seek, to expect something positive. Anticipate pleasure. Anticipate feeling good. Anticipate that you will do well. Anything less makes you hold back. It will take time but you will rewire yourself.
Action is key. The doer alone learneth. Action siphons off the dull and cruddy vapors which environ you, it cleanses the spirit and brings your soul home. Always be doing. Act faster than doubt can catch up with you, jump in faster than the voices that tell you not to.
Anticipate that it will work. Know that it is possible. Be delusional. Know that she will find the right place with you.