This is it, this is your heartbeat. I’ve probably said that before, but it doesn’t matter. This little post every once in a while has kept me going. Nothing much else can come through to me, nothing else I do can get that pressure off. Nothing else is going to get me to the finish line. I mean, you get to the finish line every day — the day will end whether you like it or not, and it adds up. Eventually it’s all over. The only option is what you do with it day to day. You can be effective or you can worry about what you will do. If you do something, at least you find out if you’re traveling in the right direction or not.
This blank screen, the typing fingers… This is what I really need. This is what it comes to if you want to feel something. Stacking up order, putting something together where there wasn’t something before. What did the diagram say? Flow is where discipline and surrender overlap. Discipline is easy enough to understand, but what is surrender? Surrender to what? Maybe it’s surrender to the absurd ambition of your ideas. You have to believe that you have something worth sharing, you have to let the idea have some say in whether it should be manifested in the world or not. The idea came to you, maybe you shouldn’t be the one judging whether it should exist or not. Maybe you have to trust that this thing embedded itself in your head and bothers you to let it out every day for a reason. You don’t need to understand why and you don’t need to judge it. You do the best you can with it (discipline) and you need to have the trust to actually do it completely.
You have to let go to have trust. Trust is not holding on, it’s letting go. Let go of the fear you have when it comes to deciding whether the idea should manifest or not. That’s why it’s cowardice and hypocrisy to keep the idea crammed down inside, to keep it neatly packed in some recess of your mind, perpetually postponed to some later date when you feel the time will be right. The time is always wrong and you have to just do it right now anyway.