Two months will go by, just like that. You won’t even realize it. You won’t realize what happened. You won’t be able to recollect what you’ve done in that time. Everything blurs together because there were no salient events. You remember nothing because there is nothing to remember.
I woke up early feeling disturbed and I don’t know why. So much time has passed, and I’ve done so little with it. It’s all very haunting. It’s all behind me now. Those years are already in death’s hands, as Marcus Aurelius said. There is no point in looking back except to learn, and what I should have learned is that you cannot waste time. You will never get it back, and you cannot stop it. Life is a treadmill you have to keep running until you really truly want to quit.
You cannot just stop. Too much depends on you doing your job. Too much depends on you connecting it all. So much is left unconnected. I can’t finish this paragraph.