Almost

Fun fact: I always choose a title for these entries once I’m done. I never have any idea where I’m going with any of this.

Do you think you can get yourself out of this mess? Is it more tempting to think all is lost so that you can go back to not trying? Is it more fun thinking you have nothing to lose?

I’m running through the possible next steps for this entry because I keep trying to make sense of it. It’s early — the sun hasn’t come up yet — so I don’t see the need for this to make a whole ton of sense. I don’t even think I need to make much sense at this hour.

I don’t know what they could possibly want from me other than to kick it off and just slam it against the wall so that we can find out what’s inside. There’s nothing I hate more than falling short of what I feel I should have done. I hate going out on that limb and fighting for what’s barely defensible. I hate screaming into the void. Some people may like it, they may find it liberating — I find it futile, trying to win a fight by swinging at the air.

You can never get yourself closer to what you need by screeching about nothing. You find a straight line, an arrow, pointed at a purpose. If you want to write something worth reading then you must have something to communicate.

You have to keep moving. No human can tolerate standing still. You sink into time like quicksand, you find yourself halfway buried before you realize what’s going on.

Insanity is choosing the harder path — the unnecessarily harder path. You could do something now, work on it every day, and make it easier on yourself. Or you can wait until it’s almost too late and have to scramble while you’re weak and in bad condition. For some reason you chose the latter. Too bad, but at least it’s only almost too late and not actually too late.

Any insinuation that hope is lost is just an excuse to quit. That’s the automatic bin into which any such thoughts should be thrown.